The Struggle

A couple days ago my husband and I were each changing a diaper (I would like to take this time to praise my husband as he has still changed more diapers then me up to this point - to all the single ladies...make "will change a diaper" a prerequisite...:). I had just finished explaining to our dear nine month old that if he would just stop struggling and cooperate, things would go a lot faster and smoother and he could be off crawling and chewing on the nearest object in the blink of an eye. Then I heard my husband in the next room also explaining the merit of being "still" while being diapered, to our two year old.

The same kind of thing happened today. My oldest had just finished a "feesee" (freezie) and was covered in purple juice. He wanted to keep playing but I saw the wisdom in getting him cleaned up before he stained his clothes and everything else in reach. It would have been over in probably 4 seconds had he just been still but the power struggle that ensued made the whole process quite longer and more unpleasant. A minute later, all cleaned up, he huffs on his way back to his important toddler schedule of playing with sticks and chasing the dog.

I found myself smiling at my likeness in my child...not physical looks (he looks just like his dad) but in the way he struggles with the things that are good for him and makes the process longer and sometimes, more unpleasant, than necessary.

Don't I do the same thing with my Father? I fight against trusting Him fully because I'm afraid of what it might mean - what it might take away. I fight against giving up a grudge because it would mean that, in my eyes, justice wasn't done. I fight against giving that extra money because I see all the things I need it for myself.

The Israelites did this too. They fought against the way God wanted to set them free from Egypt ("You're taking us to the desert?!"). They fought against the way He provided for them ("Manna again?!"). They fought against who God gave them as a leader ("Aaron, you lead us!"). They fought against entering their freedom ("The giants are too big for us!"). I read that the trip from Egypt to Canaan actually only takes 3-4 days. Taking into account the number of people and the animals that were with them, it probably would have taken a little longer but I wonder if the forty years of wandering in the desert would have been cut a lot shorter had they not stopped struggling with God, trusted Him and let Him lead?

I can't see the future or the reasons behind a lot of what God does but one thing I do know, is that He tells me not to lean on my own understanding (stop trying to figure it all out) but to trust in Him with my whole heart (Prov.3:4-5). I pray that as I grow in Him, I stop the struggle and let Him do what He wants to do in my life. I don't want to be left with purple juice on my face..;)