Sleepless Night Song

So, there's this strange phenomenon that parents are familiar with...it's how a 24 pound two year old can take up more room in a bed than two full grown adults. It probably has something to do with the strange contortions they make with their little wiry bodies. It comes in many forms - a leg across mommy's back, a head snuggled across daddy's neck - change position - whole body draped over daddy's head, little toe in mommy's ear. Now, add a little nine-month old, with the same innate abilities and it makes for a pretty sleepless night for the adults in the equation.

And so went a night in our home just recently.

Both our kiddies couldn't sleep and both ended up in our room. Lack of sleep can make you irrational and I felt like having a full-blown kick-my-legs-crying tantrum at 3 AM (did I say felt like? I may have kicked my legs a little...and cried...). Needless to say, the next morning I felt nothing like being nice or gentle or patient or anything! I just wanted to sleep. However, like grownups do, I plodded through the day, putting on a smile of encouragement at my son's newest words and patience when my youngest squirmed out of his almost fastened diaper for the third time (see previous post - The Struggle :). I didn't feel like doing these things - I could barely see straight - but I did them because I love my family.

My husband and I are reading a book called "The Love Dare"*. There's a quote that I love that says; "If you accept this dare, you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to lead it...choosing instead to lead your heart toward that which is best in the long run. This is a key to lasting, fulfilling relationships." I don't let my emotions or my feelings completely dictate how I treat my loved ones for the day. I couldn't imagine not feeding my kids just because I didn't feel like getting out of bed. However, that morning, as I took care of my children and went about the business of the day despite my tired state, I thought about how quick I am to let my emotions dictate how I react to God. If I'm happy, inspired, thankful, glad, excited or in a general good mood, praise easily flows from my heart in a song or prayer as I skip through my day. But, find me in a state of confusion, fear, anxiety, fatigue, passiveness or anger and I seem to clam up.

David gave us a good example of what to do in those times. He chose to lead his heart instead of following how he was feeling. Psalm 34 says;

^"1 I will extol the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips (NIV)."

I pray that I will remember to choose to praise and talk with God even in those times when I don't feel like it. That I will lead my heart and not follow my feelings...even when I've had a two year old barrel rolling over me all night...

*Stephen & Alex Kendrick, The Love Dare (Nashville: B&H Publishing Group, 2008), viii.